But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Everybody says they suck. So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. I dont vote. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. (LAUGHS). You dont. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? Oh, and I cant finish without recommending the routine Carlin calls his Incomplete List of Impolite Words. He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. POLITICIAN:WERE ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM AND WE'LL SOON BE PROCEEDING. It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? 193 0 obj They own you. Retweets do count. Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. 188 0 obj Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. 0000005590 00000 n This is what we have to offer. They dont care about you at all at all AT ALL. They should be based on the parents' performance. endobj I dont vote. Something is wrong here. But hey, I guess it's just part of my glamorous jet-setting lifestyle.'. Garbage out. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Two is all you need, folks. On Election Day, I stay home. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. It's always the whole thing. His political commentary was scathing and on par with any of the greats, Pryor, Chappelle, Bruce. But it's all a facade. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. A clean place to live. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. Not affiliated with OpenAI. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. POLITICIAN:SERVING THE NATION. You don't. You have no choice. You have OWNERS! And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? They got you by the balls. Do you? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . That's always a nice touch, American people. See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. Yes, all the words are quite impolite. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. endobj ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. Theres a reason. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. If you have selfish, ignorant citizensif you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gunna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Suddenly we're down to four. And nobody seems to notice. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. You can't have an opinion anymore without being labeled as something. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). That doesnt help them. 0000082419 00000 n And by the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. Its what our system produces. 0000004120 00000 n Thats what the owners count on. People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. So, that I can continue my work in Government. 0000003901 00000 n They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. People like to twist that around, I know. But social media is just a symptom of our narcissistic, attention-deficit culture. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." They don't get any real human contact. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. Complete biography of George Carlin . He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. %PDF-1.7 % George Carlin - Euphemisms I don't like words that hide the truth. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. (LAUGHS). We dont have people like that in this country. Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. Hes right. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. 0000015335 00000 n I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. Search. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. It's a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten; the ten most wanted; the ten best-dressed. 183 21 Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. This is not good work. startxref 186 0 obj I, on the other handwho did not votewho did not votewho, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. Yeah, right. stream Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. 0000006309 00000 n Nobody cares. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. . George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin, for 40-years, was one of the greatest comedians ever. I dont vote. endobj It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. endobj If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. 0 Required fields are marked *. 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Two reasons. Then watch the video. They are irrelevant. It goes WAY beyond his famous Seven Words You Cant Say on Television (also classic). Everyone experiences pain, of course. His parents split up when he was an infant because his . They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. Fuck hope. m o n t c l a i r . Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. All rights reserved. Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. George Carlin. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Not on some social media platform where everyone's shouting into the void.". Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. George Carlin Politicians : Choosing Life or Death in Capitalist America.. George Carlin Politicians youtu.be. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. The PEOPLE are fucked. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! Sure, here's a sample transcript of George Carlin talking about social media in one of his stand-up routines: "Let's talk about social media for a minute. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! Fuck em! THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. And besides, all of these sites, they're just an illusion. I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? (CLAPS, LAUGHS). Ive read it dozens of times. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Maybe you'll find some of the features useful , Ignore this comment if your post doesn't have a prompt. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33, 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA. I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. 0000015151 00000 n I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Several reasons. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. 01. (LAUGHS). But here's the thing, folks. (LAUGHS) PROCEEDING. 192 0 obj TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. Everybody says they suck. Most of the images you will find here are available for license or purchase. MISTAKES WERE MADE, DON'T LOOK AT ME, PROBABLY SOMEONE IN MY OFFICE. They're your followers. I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? for Caitlin & Johnny - 2015, Korey Soderman (via Kyle): 'All our lives I have used my voice to help Korey express his thoughts, so today, like always, I will be my brothers voice' for Kyle and Jess - 2014, Bruce Springsteen: 'They're keepers of some of the most beautiful sonic architecture in rock and roll', Induction U2 into Rock Hall of Fame - 2005, Olivia Colman: 'Done that bit. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. We're not rats', Rectorial address, Glasgow University - 1972, For Geoffrey Tozer: 'I have to say we all let him down', by Paul Keating - 2009, for James Baldwin: 'Jimmy. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). But wheres the logic in that? Everybody says they suck. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Fuck hope!. That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. People like to twist that around. Schedule . And don't get me started on the selfies. And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poleshundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice agesAnd we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? We dont have people like that in this country. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. 0000002803 00000 n e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Then share it far and wide with the little green button. )'B^E_2yKg&. But in war times they quickly become, our brave young fighting men and women stationed half way around the world in places whose name's they(POLITICIANS) can't pronounce, wandering if they will ever see their loved ones again. George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Well where do people think these politicians come from? George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. Quick Guide. George Carlin: I'm in Hollywood, Los Angeles. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. 185 0 obj The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Then, as the controversy continues to heat up, he moves to his next level of complaint: POLITICIAN:THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. You wanna know what a friend is? everybody complains about politicians. Update this biography In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. Tired of that shit. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). And let's not forget about YouTube. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. This is what we have to offer. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Everybody complains about politicians. You know what they're interested in? You caused the problem. Here it is: Why are there ten? 0000000716 00000 n George Carlin on Voting Transcript Now there's one thing you might have noticed i don't complain about: politicians. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. 189 0 obj So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. They're your 'likes'. Add in a bit of effective protest and it might even turn a bit faster.). Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And American English is loaded with euphemisms. So let me tell you something. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN. Shut the fuck up! They dont want that! 191 0 obj [wptabs style=wpui-mre-basic mode=horizontal background=false] (LAUGHS). Apparently, his last ballot was cast in 1972for McGovern. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. Such a nice touch. It has to be the WHOLE THING. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. I have my ideas. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. They want obedient workers. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. 0000001596 00000 n If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. Marc Allan: Hi. @Z(dXSm !4I And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. What? Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[308.9844 674.625 540.0 693.375]/StructParent 1/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. They're your contacts. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Then read it again. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? I don't words that conceal reality. Thats right. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. You got people spouting their opinions left and right, like they're some kind of expert on the subject. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. Are these fucking people kidding me? Well, where do people think these politicians come from? That's a friend. Global Search Search In. Yeah the public sucks. George Carlin. BRAND: That's comedian George. Im talking about the real owners now, the BIG owners! It's clearly a padded list. So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. endobj They own and control the corporations. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. Just a thought.". And that's just sad.". Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. But here's the thing: social media isn't real life. The planet is fine. x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg Every time. But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Its a big club, and you aint in it! As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. But here's the thing: you don't need social media to be happy. _S@bZ&j{|pQGB0qw_rm+eUr!:J9d j9mLJRL Q3PUn\#MuRJ\ *B6B6x They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something?

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